Desi men, or as most women call them, fathers and brothers, like having every woman in this country on a leash, or at least they try. But given how arrogantly independent women are getting these days really grinds their goat. From hijab to bikini to working for money, here are 10 things Desi men think women shouldn’t do. 

1. Tell their husbands they don’t want to have sex. 

Evidently, Indian men are of the belief that a woman ceases to be a human being after being married and as such must comply with every need of her husband. If the husband is feeling rapey today, she must deal with it because marital rape is not criminalised in India, which means, she has to wake up the next day and make breakfast for her rapist because that’s how sanskars work FFS.  

The Leaflet

2. Wear burkhas or hijab. 

It’s a major problem with people apparently, evident from the new ‘laws’ in Karnataka, where students have been stopped from appearing exams if they were found wearing burkha. Bravo! To be honest, patriarchy is only part of that particular problem.


3. Wear bikinis

We also don’t like when women wear bikinis. Recently actor Aamir Khan’s daughter Ira Khan was subjected to a lot of misogynistic trolling for wearing one in front of her father. Oh, the horror of a woman feeling safe in the presence of her father. Is this what we have become? 


4. Women should not masturbate either. 

Poor Swara Bhaskar made the mistake of playing a character that once masturbated on screen and now she hears about it every day and will probably continue to for decades to come. “How dare a woman pleasure herself?”, probably said by a bro who doesn’t think women can have orgasms because he’s never gotten them there. I mean, this tweet was from 5 hours ago. 

5. Women shouldn’t wear anything other than tacky bright red on the day of their wedding. 

Alia Bhatt wore something slightly classier and had to endure the pain of ignoring every Chintu Mintu Babloo getting offended on behalf of a whole religion. Look at this shit!


6. Be good journalists

Every editor, reporter, and scribe of the female gender probably has carpal tunnel syndrome from editing typos out of the millions of rape threats they receive every day. Like, literally every single one. TBH, we are already vishwagurus in this so technically, it’s a win. 


7. Be feminists

This is a major bummer for Desi men. Feminism, to them, is a western concept of freedom and liberty that has corrupted the minds of Indian women into not living and dying by the words of the men in their families. It is considered a poison, unsanskari to say the least. 

8. Have pre martial sex

Obviously, fathers are notorious for wanting to control the sex lives of their daughters, because apparently when a girl child is born, the doctor, takes the family honour and surgically places it in her vagina, which is then reserved for her husband. So pre-marital sex is frowned upon as that honour can be stolen if anybody else has access to it. True Story. 

Oh, and every other man only has a problem with women having marital sex if they are not the ones women are having sex with. For the uninitiated, these penis havers are called incels. Look, to your right, and now to your left. If you are in India, chances are, both those men are incels. 

Meme Dukaan

9. Marry people they love. 

Actually, this is also to do with that honour in vagina thing from the last point. So, since that honour belongs to the father and somewhat to the brother and extends a little to the other men in the family, it is them who must decide the man to whom that honour will be passed on. And if that man is from a different religion or caste, well, then, glorified murder seems like the only logical solution. 

Feminism in India

10. Have a job and a family

Oh, wow, so with this one, what we have is a complex abomination of celebrating a part of women’s lives and demonising another. See, we in this country worship motherhood like it’s the best thing that can happen to a human being. People who have ever experienced labour pains would strongly disagree but then, they are women so we don’t care about their opinion LOL. So, we worship motherhood so much that we expect women to ignore every other aspect of their lives and give up all personal ambitions to raise the children of men that think they own them. 


There’s a lot more to cover here but it’s a weekend and there’s only so much hate I can live with on a Sunday in this hot summer before I f**king snap. So until next time, suckers! *Peace*