Visiting a gynaecologist should be like visiting any other doctor for any issue. But sadly, that is not so. Most women do not even visit a gynaecologist until and unless there is any medical issue related to childbirth. So when women do want to visit a doctor for menstrual issues, STI testing, UTIs, or just a regular checkup it is extremely nerve-wracking because we are never told what to expect from the visit. And things get murkier if you are an unmarried woman visiting a gynaecologist

We made a list of 17 things we wish we knew before our first gynaecologist visit. In case, you are visiting a gynaecologist for the first time, feel free to use this as a friendly guide.

1. “Checking your ‘flexibility’ is not a real thing.” – KayakDaBruce

2. “When he said to a 16-year-old me, ‘you know how to spread your legs, so spread them‘ because I was nervous. I should have walked out but I didn’t want to question him or have my mother be mad at me.” – Proud-Tie557

3. “It’s okay to ask questions! I mentioned to my gynaecologist that I was nervous and I didn’t know what to expect. So I asked her if she could explain what she was doing and why she did everything. It helped make the whole thing less nerve wracking!” – codependentweeb

4. “Find a doctor you are comfortable with and who isn’t judgmental. Your health matters and you should be able to bring up anything with them. Also a pap smear will hurt for the first time, but it’s over quickly.” – Refuse-Careless

5. “You can request a female doctor, and leave if they aren’t able to get you one. You can request for another doctor/nurse in the room. And that it’s really not as bad as someone might say, it’s typically very quick to get a pap smear. All of mine have only taken only a few minutes. Nothing was painful, maybe slight discomfort.” – Pleasechokeme666

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6. “Ask questions, say when you are uncomfortable, or when something hurts. Also check for recording devices like those tablets they use for ‘how are we doing’ type surveys. Yep, those cameras are active and are not there for your safety.” – Mysterious_Owl_2399

7. “That they can potentially charge you a second office visit for asking a damn question that was ‘out of the scope’. I went in for my pap smear and asked her about the vaginal discomforts I faced. I got billed for two office visits. I thought it would have been okay to ask, apparently not. So make sure to ask your doctor if you’re gonna get charged for an extra visit if you ask a question not related to your appointment.” – SilhouetteCommenter

8. “You shouldn’t have a doctor shaming you for not using birth control. No one should make you feel weird about who you may or may not be sleeping with. I have never had a male doctor examine me down there, so that’s never been an issue for me.” – Nopenotme77

9. “They’ll ask when your last period was. Knowing the date my last one was always makes me feel good about myself for some reason, like I am super prepared. Good luck! Even if something embarrassing happens, you’ll be fine!” – TogetherWithMe

10. “If you and your mother are super tight and can talk about anything, no problem. Bring her. I did and wish I hadn’t. There were all sorts of questions I had and suddenly I felt really uncomfortable asking those in front of her.” – OliveWildly

11. “It can be kind of uncomfortable, but remember that it is one of those things that helps us make sure that we are working okay. No special prep is required really, just make sure to shower!” – dirtypaws

12. “A lot depends on the doctor, but do yourself a favour: if you don’t 100% love your doctor, if your doctor dismisses any of your problems, or doesn’t give you adequate time, or throws any sexist bullsh** around, FIND A NEW ONE. Never be afraid to shop around when it comes to your health. The tools are cold. The rest depends on your body.” – littlestray

13. “The speculum they use to hold the vagina open is somewhat uncomfortable and that’s really the worst part of a pelvic exam. It shouldn’t be painful however, just slightly annoying.” – Anonymous

14. “One thing that used to help me when I was younger was to remember that my doctor has seen it all – prolapsed uterus, vaginal tearing and skid mark tears, active STIs, etc. So my snatch is that it is not going to be exciting or memorable. What helps me now (in my 30’s) is that my doctor is my employee. I am contacting her for her medical knowledge. If I feel judged or if I am treated badly, I have the power to fire her and get a new doctor.” – searedscallops

15. “I haven’t seen this yet, but I always pack a pad when I go. I tend to bleed a bit after my exams. Then I go get something good to eat.” – everhood13

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16. “I usually take an Advil before I go.” – GingerCookie

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17. “Please, for the love of god, don’t lie to your doctor. I don’t give a damn about your social life, I just want you to survive while you’re in the hospital. Be honest.” – chuckbassisbritish

Go ahead and schedule a gynaecologist appointment for yourself. Treat it just like any other checkup and remember you can always change your doctor if they decide to shove sexist remarks down your throat.