One of the best parts about life is having beautiful and strong friendships. And that includes having  great, trustworthy bonds with our female friends as well. I think female allyship is an underrated aspect of feminism and that it definitely deserves more attention than we like to admit. 

Which is why, this Reddit thread where women have shared how they’ve maintained friendships with other women and prioritized them is so relevant. 

As a redditor asked women how they’ve kept their friendship with other women strong, others came forward to share advice on the topic. 


Take a look at what people have said: 

1. “I met most of my adult friends through work. It’s like dating really- sometimes you just have good chemistry with people and those relationships are easy to maintain even when they move miles and miles away. With my close friends we have a group chat, and we meet every couple of months if we can, and we try to go on holidays or weekends away. The rest of the time I have less close friends (mostly from work) that I see for stuff closer to home.”

– Karenzo81

2. “My BFF and I have been best friends since we were in 5th grade. We’re 36 now, and I think a lot of our relationship is owed to trial by fire and both being peculiar creatures. We went for a year in high school without speaking. She’s my number one favorite person and I trust her implicitly. She knows things about me I don’t share with anyone else. She’s actually coming to spend the night tonight! I think a best friend is like a relationship partner. You don’t always see eye to eye but you always love one another.”

– Middle_Light8602

3. “I’m part of a language club with open membership that meets weekly. I meet a lot of people this way but 90% of them stay squarely in the “acquaintance” category. The 10% are friends who genuinely put effort into the friendship (i.e. actually make plans when they say “let’s do something one day!”) My rule of thumb is to mirror the other person’s energy. 

If we hit it off and decide to hang out, I expect them to initiate as much as I do. I’ve spent way too much time in my youth chasing after people who didn’t/couldn’t reciprocate. Doing this has helped me to weed out flaky/insincere people and find some pretty solid friendships. It takes time but it works.”

– enacting

4. “You need to have a lot of grace for yourself and your friends. I have a handful of best friends and we don’t get to see each other often but do monthly (sometimes more) phone calls. Part of growing up is understanding that time is not on our side. Offering grace for family situations, mental health, weddings, divorces, EVERYTHING IS SO IMPORTANT. 

I know I could call on them and have an army of strong ass gals there with me. Making new friends is hard. I’ve done it with Bumble BFF, when moving to a new locale with great results. Maintaining any relationship is hard though. This is different than one person putting in more effort than another though. If you’re doing everything it won’t work.”

– katerineia

5. “My therapist said: relationships are vulnerability and reciprocity.”

– Palex9

6. “Me and my best mate have been friends since playgroup. We met when we were 3 and we’re both 42 now. We went to the same schools, college and university and picked up the rest of our friend group along the way. We all live all over the world (most of us are still in the UK but one is in the US, one is in NZ and another in Australia) but we maintain the friendship with a WhatsApp group chat and regular Zoom calls. 

Those of us who are still in London, meet up regularly for food and drinks, and the wider group all gets together every November in the Lake District. It takes work and effort but it’s not hard work, you know? They’re my girls and I love them, so working to maintain my relationship with them all is important to me.”

– SleepFlower80

7. “We make sure to talk now and then and try to plan a trip once in a year. Nourishing the friendship since we are all in different places in the world.”

– mythers97

8. “We all know how busy the other is. When we do get the chance to see each other, we update each other on our lives. We really are very respectful of boundaries and we don’t fight a lot unless it’s totally necessary (we hate confrontation). And finally, we are ALWAYS honest. If something makes us mad, we say it; if something the other did made us sad, we say it. Be very open to give AND receive honest opinions.”

– trixxie44

9. “I’ve been with my “inner circle” since kindergarten. Despite us going to different high schools and colleges, we’re still as close as ever, well into our thirties. I don’t think there’s any real secret to our prolonged friendship. We’ve had a group chat since group chat became a thing. We do brunch regularly. Those of us with kids have them interact. I don’t really have an answer for how we managed it. It just kind of happened organically.”

– Louisianimal0418

10. “I also met many of my friends through work or through other friends. Some I even met on apps! Do your best to be open with people you feel a connection with. Hang out often in the beginning. Be vulnerable and be present. After a while the years will pass without knowing it and you’ll have a close group of friends you can always call on. 

Just make sure you’re not giving your energy to the wrong people either. Be selective. Even friendships are as emotionally taxing as intimate relationships. I read somewhere that having 3 close non biological, platonic friends is really all anyone needs.”

– ConfidenceRelevant79

11. “I’ve had the same friendship group since high school (I went to an all-girls school and wouldn’t change a thing) which are all primarily women. In university, most of my friends also ended up being women. I don’t really like having male friends, I don’t find the friendships rewarding and they almost always end up having feelings so tbh I avoid them like the plague LOL. I have a group of girlfriends who are all in the same group chat – we talk most days, and hang out once a fortnight for brunch or bougie dinners/drinks.”

– jahanny

So taking out time for our friends, respecting each other’s life choices and boundaries, and being honest about our feelings? Cool, got it.