There could be numerous reasons for you to not be in a relationship but what remains constant is the fear of getting hurt. It takes two individuals to maintain a relationship and one common ground to be together. The fear of falling in love comes with a lot of overwhelming emotions. But, here’s a thing: be with someone who will be kind to you even if the road gets bumpy.
We have compiled a list of fears that holds people back from being in a relationship & they’re too relatable.
1. “I’m scared of being vulnerable. I know I’m the clingy and possessive kind. I don’t want to cry and sob looking at my phone just because he hasn’t texted back for an hour, and I know I will. Also, those videos where another girl flirts with the guy and the girlfriend just sits there watching because like ??? I’m scared lmao I don’t trust people at all.”
2. “I’ll take care of them, nurture them, and do everything in my power to support them, but it will still not be enough. I’ll still not be enough. And they’ll leave. And I’ll have to build me up all over again.”
3. “Commitment genuinely terrifies me. I miss intimacy, dates, flirting, and overall that goofy feeling of having a crush, but to think about being tethered to someone makes me so anxious I feel it physically. Thanks, abusive ex, for that little parting gift.”
4. “Just bad experiences in general. My first love cheated and left last year out of nowhere, and then I tried a casual sexual relationship a few months ago and it led to him stalking me on social media, last week I had to get in contact with the police about him. Every time I try to do something I want in the dating world, the other person always seems to have other ideas and just completely fucks me over. These experiences have left a really sour taste in my mouth about dating, always afraid of getting fucked over when I least expect it.”
5. “Public emotional commitment. I love the idea of getting married. But doing the whole ceremonial thing in front of my friends/family? Even mixing my friends and family? Mixing my family and my partner’s family in the same event? Telling everyone how much I love him? Kissing him in front of everyone? Oof.”
6.”The slow fade where they gradually stop being interested in you. Hurts like hell and has happened every time so far. It’s getting in the way of actually meeting new people because all I see when I get to know them is what they’re pulling away is going to look like.”
7.” Trigger warning perhaps: I fear getting raped. I never travel alone on dates or go to their houses. I’m not sure if this is an irrational one but it’s held me back in my dating life because I don’t know how to progress without doing it.”
8. “This probably sounds terrible but I’m afraid I won’t find anyone good enough. I’m scared I’ll have to settle like I always have in the past.”
9.” That my trauma and “showing my true personality” will be too much for someone or overwhelm them. I always have one foot out the door until I know it’s safe.”
10. “Fear that he’d be disappointed in who I am… Fear that he’d leave after I become too vulnerable. Fear that I’ve fucked up too much. There’s a lot of fear in relationships no matter how new or old the relationship is. Or how experienced or inexperienced you are.”
11. “I fear that they’ll get bored of me and dispose of me so easily. Another one is feeling like I’m not good enough and that they’ll find someone better.”
12. “Communicating. Was always taught my feelings aren’t valid and that there’s no such thing as mental health growing up and even now. Therefore I struggle to get words out and to even speak about my feelings. I was yelled at when I cried so it’s not easy now to open up to a partner ’cause I’m scared of that.”
13. “Losing my independence and not being able to do what I want, when I want. Guess that’s why I’ve been single for so long and don’t really want a relationship.”
14. “The fact that people don’t understand their own needs and you might think everything is fine when they’re miserable. We all are changing as human beings and don’t always know what we can and can’t handle. This makes me feel uncomfortable since I’ve been on both sides.”
Read more: Things Women Want Their Sexual Partners To Be More Aware Of.