Relationships are weird things, there are too many emotions involved, half of which are too difficult to comprehend. It’s fun. Of course, rom-coms that show best friends ending up together are our favourite genre. But, it’s not that simple in real life – dating a best friend means juggling two relationships at once. And this can be overwhelming, which might not always end well.
These Redditors shared their experiences of dating a best friend, which might answer your questions.
1. We started “dating” (i.e. being romantic) for like 2 days, but there was no compatibility. Kissing felt weird. I wasn’t sexually attracted to her. I like hugging and cuddling with her but anything more felt wrong to me. We are still good friends, and surprisingly it isn’t really awkward between us.”
2. “We got married, going on 35 years now. Been together since high school.”
3. “I had a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. But it did eventually end, and it hurt double when it ended because I lost my boyfriend and my best friend. But the two years we were together were some of the best two years of my life.”
4. “We ruined a really good friendship for a relationship full of arguments and hurt. It’s a hit or miss situation most of the time.”
5. “Terribly. We didn’t know how to behave anymore; because we couldn’t just hang out as before, but on the other hand all the romantic stuff felt forced and awkward. It soon fizzled our after the most cringe-worthy sex-attempt ever. Tried to stay friends, but it was just not the same. Haven’t seen him in 8 years and have no idea what he does or where he lives.”
6. “This just happened to me. While it didn’t work out, I’d much rather be her friend than not have her in my life because she’s wonderful. It does hurt for a while when you start thinking about losing her if it doesn’t work out, so try not to think about it.”
7. “We’re married and have a baby on the way. She’s my absolute favorite person in the world.”
8. “I’m currently thinking about asking out one of my best friends, I have feelings for her for quiet some time now but was always afraid of losing our friendship. Now I made the decision that either it’ll work out or we need a long break from each other because else I’ll never get her out of my head, no matter how much it will hurt.”
9. “I’ve been dating my best friend for about 2 years now? Best decision I’ve ever made, IMO.”
10. “Started dating my best friend in college after months of saying I could never. He joined a frat and I didn’t see him for a while and he emerged just so confident and I saw him differently. Maybe the distance let me miss him? 12 years together, 4 years married, and as of this week a kid on the way! Yeah it hasn’t ended yet but so far it’s going great.”
11. “In college, our friend group eventually all started dating each other – junior year into senior year. In retrospect, I don’t know if it was worth it because it totally ruined our great social dynamic. At the same time, given that we all went separate ways at the end of the year, I guess that didn’t matter as much as it seemed at the time.”
12. “I dated a person I considered to be a really close friend. Ended horribly. I also think I overlooked some things to be with her and then they basically turned around and bit me in the ass. Was a bad idea on my part.”
To date, or not to date, that is the question.