Heartbreak and all hurts, but nothing hurts like a sex injury – figurately and literally. Sex is a lot about passion, and it doesn’t always lead to sheet-clasping pleasure. Sometimes, it ends up in weird or somewhat hurtful stories to laugh about – after you’ve moved on of course. 

Redditors shared their stories about sex injuries and the results are quite painful: 

1. “I was going down on my girlfriend, who buck hard into my nose. I bled everywhere, but the lights were out and I just thought she’s extra wet until I started tasting the blood. When she found out, she screamed, and I blurted out – “It’s not like you’ve never seen blood down there before!” Obviously, that didn’t help me.”

2. “This is something my best friend’s brother decided to share with us:

He was staying at his girlfriend’s parent’s house for a while, and they wanted to have sex, but couldn’t do it in the living room (for whatever reason), so they decide to go and have sex on the countertop of their bathroom. He ends up pulling out too far, and rams his penis into marble.”

3. “In the middle of changing positions, my shoulder gave out & both of our weight ended up coming down on me with my arm folded back & under me. Ended up with a dislocated shoulder.”

4. “In high school, I had my appendix removed and my girlfriend came to visit me the next day in the hospital. We started making out and things got a little too frisky. I ruptured my surgical incision and started bleeding. The funny part is, right afterwards a nurse came in to check my vitals and was quite alarmed at my elevated heart rate and blood pressure. My scar healed funny and still looks a little fucked up.”

5. “First time giving a blow job: So there I was, and in the seconds following this I realized my mouth wouldn’t close. My jaw had dislocated and gotten stuck in an open position. We immediately drove to the hospital. I was crying and laughing simultaneously. My jaw was stuck like that for almost 2 hours.”

6. “I have two. First, my wife and I got home from the bar and were very drunk, somehow I tore a piece of skin under my tongue while going down on her. Every time I moved my tongue for the next two days it hurt. Second, while going down on my wife again I got a knee to the nose, it bled profusely. Quite messy.”

7. “A few years ago, my girlfriend and I decided to have sex in the shower. We were going good for a while but my feet kept losing contraction on the wet floor. As I continued thrusting, I suddenly slipped and lost my balance. The weight of my girlfriend towered over me like a reverse jet pack. I landed hard on my back with my girlfriend on top of me. Luckily she wasn’t hurt. I, on the other hand had a bad back ache for the rest of the week. It could have been a lot worse.”

8. “Tried to be sexy for my woman. She was lying in bed waiting and I was at the door trying to walk and take of my clothes off. I already had a boner and I was down to my trunks. My trunks got stuck in my ankles, I tripped and fell on my erection. We didn’t even make it to sexy time.”


9. “My girlfriend has really, really sharp fingernails. There’s one she specifically files to be sharper than the rest, on her right ring finger. She says it’s more convenient than carrying around a knife or boxcutter at work.

Anyway, her blade-finger sliced the skin along the side of my shaft.”

10. “I busted my face open on a fireplace mantle. I had a gash under my eye and my eye swelled up and turned black all around it. It looked like I got into a gnarly fight. I’m a female so everyone’s reaction upon seeing it was the worst-case scenario. I got a lot of “Are you okay? and “I hope you dumped him”, until they found out what really happened.”

11. “I ripped the linguae frenulum (bit that attaches the bottom of your tongue to the bottom of your mouth) going down on a girl. I was fairly drunk so I didn’t realize until afterwards. It was due to the sustained stress of long, enthusiastic head-giving rather than a sudden traumatic injury, but it hurt a lot for a week.”

12. “One time my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he suddenly thrusted alarmingly hard and ended up zooming me right off the bed. I ended up crash landing into the bed side table, smacking my head on a ledge there, and then the lamp fell off the table onto my head. I received a concussion.”

You’ll probably be ready to have sex again, soon.