There’s no doubt that our friends only exist for two reasons- to embarrass us in difficult situations and to ask for absurd favours. And in a thread, people reveal the weirdest favour a friend ever asked them for and trust us, some of these responses will set some serious friendship goals for you.
Read on.
1. “I was friends with a girl through junior high and high school. We called one another best friends, but in truth, she was just a shitty person and a worse friend. We drifted apart as you do after we graduated as I went to college, and she made other choices. One day, out of the blue, she called me and invited me to meet her for lunch to catch up. As we’re eating lunch, she tells me a funny story about an awesome party she and her new friend group were at and oh by the way, would I be her alibi for that night because they’d managed to burn down the house they were partying at — which they’d illegally entered in the first place. I refused to get involved and told her while I wouldn’t volunteer any information, I also would not lie to any official that asked me outright about anything to do with that incident. She wasn’t happy with me, but no officials ever came to me with questions. She and I had even less to do with one another after that. Oh, and I paid for lunch.”
2. “Back in the old days, I had a paranoid friend who used to pay me good money to rent out and dupe porn VHS tapes because he didn’t want a record of him renting them out. His logic: if he ever became famous, he didn’t want a record of him renting out porn tapes. Postscript: he never became famous.”
3. “Coworker asked me to help him bury a body. It turns out that his grandfather was to be buried on their farm and I was the only guy he knew who can use a backhoe. Even weirder: his grandfather wasn’t dead yet and not only was he walking around and talking, he brought us out ice tea and diet coke while we dug his grave. He died like 5 days later.”
4. “My cousin had locked his keys in his car and it would cost too much to get someone to open the car. So, he asked me to break into his car and “steal” his keys because the insurance of getting a window fixed would have been cheaper.”
5. “He wanted me to buy a house so that he and his newly pregnant girlfriend could have a place to live together, for free. I had a hard enough time paying for my apartment, I have no idea why he thought I had the money to buy a freakin’ house. He didn’t ask just once, either. He would send me house listings all the time and try to schedule tours. I think, he truly believed that I just needed to see some houses, in person, in order to be convinced. He stopped speaking to me after I moved out of state and didn’t invite them to join me. I have absolutely no remorse.”
6. “To donate my sperm. To her. An ex. No joke.”
7. “They called at 2 am, asking me to reach him on a well hidden countryside road and told me to bring a shovel and the biggest plastic bag I had. Driving a scooter while holding a shovel isn’t easy, also i was expecting to help burying a human corpse, so I brought two bags big enough for me to fit in. The idiot just drove over a chinchilla. I still can’t figure where did it came from.”
8. “To babysit her kid for $40 a day for nine hour days. I told her no and she hasn’t spoken to me since (over 2 years ago now). For one day or two, I’d do it but she wanted me to be his regular babysitter while she worked her full time job.”
9. “They asked me if they could move into my parent’s house (whom they’d only met briefly before) for free, for an undetermined amount of time (but most likely several months). Then they got mad at me when my parents said no. Like, friendship ending mad. They were a full thirty- something adult. I didn’t even live there full time, and it wasn’t my house or my call. I was so confused.”
10. “A friend of mine had moved and money was tight, so he didn’t have the internet at his place for a while. He asked me to download some porn for him. I did.”
11. “When my best friend from high school moved out of his parents house, he did so without informing his parents about it. He moved out on the sly, while they were at work and asked me to help him. When they came home sooner then expected, he asked me to go down there and make up a lie, while he snuck out the back and hopped the fence, so he wouldn’t have to face them. I did it, but I can’t say I feel good about it.”
12. “A friend of mine once asked me to seduce his sister because he didn’t like her boyfriend. He didn’t want me to date her, he just wanted me to seduce her break up their relationship and then ghost her.”
