Ghosting has become a popular way to abruptly cut someone off from our lives. Imagine being ghosted on your first date. Trust me- it’s a crappy feeling and obviously makes you question your self-worth. But if you look at a broader perspective, it’s a subjective term, and sometimes it’s best to ghost someone if it comes at the cost of your mental peace, right? I think that’s what I feel.
Though ghosting is not the best way to deal with relationships, people who have resorted to it have shared some reasons for ghosting, and they may have a point.
1. “The only people I’ve ever ghosted were people who refused to let me go. We’d argue, and I would tell them I didn’t want to speak anymore. Just for them to send me 4/5 texts a day guilt-tripping me into responding.”
2. “If I’m ghosting someone it’s because they’ve done me dirty and I don’t feel they deserve any more of my energy. Either that or I just forgot to text back.”
3. “Maybe people fear that if they say “goodbye” another person may argue or go for emotional manipulation to continue or something worse. Maybe, at least that’s what I tell myself, after being ghosted frequently.”
4. “My rule of ghosting personally is if it’s just in the texting stage and the conversation dies, I think it’s kind of appropriate to just kinda dip. The amount of times I get ghosted on dating apps is insane but it doesn’t offend me, I am still a stranger Though if I met the person in real life and went on a date and wasn’t feeling me, I would tell them straight up and would hope the person I went on a date to tell me too.”
5. “I only ghost people if they’ve been draining my energy and negatively affecting my mental health and I’ve told them to leave me alone but they won’t.”
6. “In terms of dating I personally have ghosted people when they don’t get the hint I don’t like them. These are only extreme cases when I state to them directly that I don’t want to be in a relationship, but they continuously act like we are.”
7. “Many reasons. They could either not be bothered responding/simply don’t care, fear being manipulated or abused, don’t want to fix the problem so they disappear instead, don’t want to talk to you anymore, etc. The list goes on, hope things get better for you, though, OP.”
8. “I think either fear. They don’t want to deal with emotions, whether there’s or the other person’s. Or the other option is that they are so self-absorbed that they really don’t care if or how they hurt others. I prefer to assume the first one when it happens to me.”
9. “Discovering red flags early on, where I don’t have to explain why I don’t want to talk or see you anymore.”
10. “Usually I’d just let them know that I don’t want to talk to them, meet them, or deal with them anymore. But some people don’t accept it and some even think being consistent can change my mind. Yeah no, it won’t. I’ll just “ghost” cause I don’t feel like wasting my time and energy justifying my reasons to them.”
11. “If I ghost someone it’s because I don’t trust them or they make me uncomfortable. Would you want to tell someone that? And if I did, it would only create bigger problems, which I don’t want to deal with. I ghost people only if it’s warranted, and at that point, you don’t deserve an explanation or conversation that only makes me feel worse.”
12. “I just think it’s been part of life. It’s just that texting / social media etc has made it much more palpable. I sure as hell avoided contact with people purposely in the 80s and 90s. It’s just way more fucking obvious now. Life is short, there simply is no room for people in one’s life that detract from ourselves. If they make us miserable, then you drop contact. It was easier 30 years ago obviously.”
13. “I used to ghost on friends a lot because my anxiety and history of emotional abuse had me convinced that they were just putting up with me and wouldn’t actually care or notice if I stopped being around. I’ve only recently realized that some of those people probably actually liked and missed me.”
14. “I think it’s super hard to keep a connection maintained if there isn’t mutual work. It isn’t that I disliked the person but I already have stuff going on in my life. If they’re not actively trying to include themselves in it, then I just check out. And it’s too much effort to be like “hey I like hanging out with you but we seem to have some difficulties scheduling a date” etc etc. So I let the conversation just die.”
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