It’s a lonely night.
Sitting on your bed with the lights dimmed, you’re all by yourself. As it happens at this time in the night, your thoughts are overflowing, mind thinking way too much. There’s no one else in the room. For now, music won’t suffice. Books won’t take you to another world. Scrolling through Instagram won’t be enough.
You need someone. A person. To talk. To hear. To share.
Looking at your phone, who’s the first person you’d want to call?
It’s not the conversation you’d like to have with parents. Even boyfriend/girlfriend. Not because it’s so secretive. Just that they won’t get it.
At least, not the way your best friend would!
Friendship isn’t like any other relationship.
You’re not friends with someone by virtue of your birth. Unlike a romantic equation, there’s no particular attraction or chemistry either. You just meet someone at some point in your life, like their company and become friends. That’s it.
We don’t think too much about making friends. There’s no check-list, no analysis of pros and cons. It’s not the way you go about getting into a relationship.
Friendship is simple. It’s just there. Like a constant.
It goes through ups and downs, yes, but somehow, you always pick up from where you left.
Unlike love, friendship isn’t about expectations.
You’re not going to hate your friends for not calling you everyday. If they do, great, but if they don’t, you’ll understand. You won’t crucify them for having other friends either.
We’re not jealous of the success our friends get, we don’t envy them for their achievements and we certainly don’t mind them doing things they want, even if we don’t particularly care for those.
Friendship isn’t like love. And therefore, sometimes, it’s even better than love.
You may not want to talk about your feelings with a lover but you can always talk to your friend.
They say, talking about your feelings always helps.
Thoughts floating in your head can cause more damage than good. It’s good to open up. It’s important to express. It’s helpful to put your emotions into words.
And if your problem is more about finding someone to talk to more than figuring out what to say, look no further than your friends.
They know you inside out. They’ve seen your take that first drag of smoke. They’ve seen you get drunk and pass out. They were there when you first got your heart broken. They held your hand when your grades weren’t good or you didn’t get that promotion you had targeted. They’ve been on holidays with you.
They’ve seen you laugh and heard you cry. They’ve seen you grow. Evolve. They’ve understood you at every given point. And they’ll understand you now.
Whether it’s 9 a.m, 3 p.m., 7 p.m. or 3 a.m.
No matter what the time, it’s always a good time to talk to your friends!
No matter how close you are to your parents, they can never be your best friends.
The dynamics of a parent-child equation are and will always remain different. You may discuss your romantic liaisons with them or have a drink or two together. But no matter how great the equation may be, after a point, they are still your parents.
You can’t be on back-slapping terms with them. You can’t abuse them for fun. You can’t crack dirty jokes with them. Or, go on an impromptu bike ride with them. You need your friends for that.
Just like you need your friends to discuss things you can’t talk about with your parents.
Our parents worry way too much about us. Adding to their worries is not the best thing we can do. When life gets overwhelming, you don’t want to trouble them. They’ve had their own share of trouble all through life anyway, right?
Beyond a point, even boyfriends/girlfriends cease to be friends.
Love is a tricky emotion. It’s intense, yes, but that same intensity can sometimes wreak havoc on the friendship you two share. If your lover becomes your best friend, what’ll happen the next time you two fight?
And when you break up with your lover, you won’t just lose a partner, you’ll lose a friend too.
Besides, do lovers really make great friends? Imagine telling your partner about a past relationship? Or, sitting with them to gossip about another friend they don’t even know?
They say, you should be friends with the one you love. I’d say, do that but keep your best friend on the side.
Friends can be therapists too. Or, they can be better!
Life is pretty messed up. Nothing comes easy, nothing is ever enough. Amidst all the running around, things can get pretty overwhelming. It happens to everyone. It will happen to you.
While you and I may not be able to control what’s happening around, what we can do is talk about what we’re feeling.
We can open up. Say it out aloud. Scream. Let it all out of our heads.
While doing this in front of a therapist is great, what’s even better is saying it to a friend.
After all, haven’t our friends been our therapists all these years without us ever realizing it?
If you haven’t already, reach out to your friends. Sit with them and talk. All your inner demons, each of your inner thoughts.
Sometimes, you don’t need therapy. You just need a friend!