Adulting is confusing, and 20s are a lot about exploring oneself or understanding our needs. All of this comes with a lot of emotions to deal with. Of course, we are always caught up with internal and external conflicts that lead to so many questions.
But, in the end, it's always about putting ourselves first - which includes our emotions and choices. And, this Twitter thread tells us exactly what we shouldn't be saying to ourselves, during our 20s.
STOP saying these things to yourself, in your 20s— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
When things don't seem perfect and we think we're failing.
"I am a loser"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
All our lives, especially in our 20s, we feel we are the odd ones out.
Everyone else has it figured.
Everyone else is smart.
Everyone else is so certain.
There must be something wrong with us.
Truth is - everyone feels the same way!
To be 'settled' means different things to different people. And, it's okay if we haven't reached the 'goal' yet.
"I need to settle"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
20s is the decade that the world tells us to settle.
Finish your education.
Get a job.
Buy that house/car.
Truth is - 20s is the decade to explore.
To find out what you are good at and what makes you happy.
To not rush.
Of course, money matters. But, maybe we should focus more on learning first.
"I need lots of money. NOW"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
Most of us, especially those who grew up with lack of money, want to get rich. Quickly.
We optimize for that.
We run after money.
Fall for short-term gains.
Truth is - 20s is the decade to focus on your learning.
Money is then a side effect.
He also talked about the constant pressure of feeling stuck. And, it's real.
"I am stuck"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
You will fail.
You will have self-doubt.
You will suffer.
You will experience pain.
You will feel paralyzed.
You will feel helpless.
Truth is - you are not stuck.
You can always take the smallest possible step to get you out of where you are right now.
And as much as we hate waiting, we're constantly reminded that things take time.
"I haven't achieved anything so far"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
You will compare yourself to others.
Other's success will scare you, agonize you, mock you.
You will look at where you are and feel you are nowhere.
Truth is - in your 20s your position doesn't matter.
Your direction does.
Oh, and how time creeps on us.
"I am already old"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
You set targets for yourself.
And then imposed timelines on them.
Which were frankly desires and had no basis.
So when you didn't hit them by the time you thought you would, you feel you have lost.
Truth is - you have time!
You're not old. You're early.
Talking about 'things' that matter - rightly so.
"I want people to know I am successful."— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
You want that phone, that car, that salary, that brand - to look good.
You want people to talk highly of you.
Truth is - people's opinion about you don't make you successful.
Until you don't feel successful within!
Honestly, every day seems like a deadline.
"This year is make or break for me"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
I remember feeling this way for every year in my 20s.
This year is when I had to do it.
Else I won't be able to.
The story repeated every year!
Truth is - in a 80yr life no one year has the power to impact your life, unless you allow it to.
His opinion on 'finding passion' is a literal and constant fear. And this might help -
"I need to find my passion"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
We obsess over our passion.
Expecting it to be lying in some corner, waiting to be discovered.
And when we do, our life will never be the same again.
Truth is - we do not find our passion.
We grow our passion.
And that's a long journey. For all.
Deep down, most of us like to be liked. And, that's normal.
"I have to be liked by all"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
In our 20s, we crave for validation and acknowledgement.
We attempt to please all, because we believe that to be a way to win!
Truth is - we can never be liked by all.
Be yourself. The right people will come to you and stay.
While procrastinating like a pro.
"I can always do that later"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
We postpone things.
Calling that friend.
Quitting that toxic job.
Going to the gym.
Saying "I love you".
Following our heart.
We are in a hurry to win.
So we postpone living.
Truth is - life isn't a goal.
It is a day passing by, every single day.
It's never going to seem like we have it together. And, maybe that's how things don't get boring.
"I will become an adult one day"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
We think there is a an age when we suddenly grow up.
And growing up means we have sorted everything out.
We know the answers to all questions.
We are in control.
Truth is - we will never have all the answers. That is life.
It's probably about keeping a balance between care and control.
"I should not lose my friends"— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
You will dread losing your friends.
You will dread being alone.
You will dread growing apart.
Even though you are not happy in those relationships anymore.
Truth is - you will outgrow your friends. It is ok to move on.
The Twitter user summed it up by talking about the feeling that we're alone. And the fact that we consider a set of beliefs as the constant, which they shouldn't always be. This thread is a reminder for all of us in our 20s to be less uptight than we might be - at least when it's starting to cause more harm than good.
The 20s is quite a weird decade.— Ankur Warikoo (@warikoo) June 10, 2022
We are surrounded by the most people we have even been surrounded by.
And yet constantly feel alone.
And at 42 I realize that a large part of the reason are these self-imposed beliefs we live our 20s by.
A set of rules that we feel are fixed.
Because it ain't easy!