We all love weddings until it’s our own. It’s a big step and an expensive one. From wedding events to planning a life together, there are ample things a couple needs to prepare for. There are a zillion things we do at our wedding under society’s pressure and a zillion of things we don’t do, again, because of society.

We have compiled a list of things you need to start/ stop doing at weddings, and they sound perfect!

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1. “This is just for Indian weddings, but maybe normalize a smaller crowd? Even the smallest weddings I’ve been to have 1000-1500 guests, easy. As someone who doesn’t like big crowds, weddings always make me feel anxious.”

vpsj

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2. “Stop having your father “give” you away. You are not his property. It is so cringing. This is in the same vein as the man asking the parents for their daughter’s hand in marriage….just STOP. What century are we in?”

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3. “Expecting that YOUR “most important day of my life!” is everyone’s most important day of their life. For the rest of us, it’s just a party. We don’t care about your color scheme. Feed us and give us some drinks.”

drunkenknitter

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4. “Stop forcing a bridesmaid’s dress on people who clearly will be uncomfortable wearing it because it doesn’t work with their body type. Pick a color, and let your bridesmaids buy their own dress that they feel comfortable in.”

LilRedCatBear

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5. “People at weddings need to stop turning to the unmarried couples there and asking them “are you guys next?” So rude. There are lots of reasons why people don’t or wait a long time to get married and their status is none of anyone’s concern but their own.”

3toeddog

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6. “Stop doing what you don’t want to do at your wedding and start doing what you do want to do.”

gr8times5488

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7. “Might be an unpopular opinion but destination weddings are the worst. You lose days of your leave or lose money from work. Spend hundreds if not thousands on flights and accommodation and oh yeah, you’re still expected to bring a gift. It’s hands down the most selfish way to get married.”

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8. “The expectation that the people getting married can’t see each other on the morning of/before the wedding that day. I feel like it’d be nice to spend the whole day with your partner and getting ready together for your big day sounds very romantic to me.”

RosemaryViolet

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9. “Stop playing awkward music. Been to several weddings where the father/daughter dance song was super romantic. I could tell they picked it because it was a slow song but the sensual lyrics are off-putting in the context of father/daughter dance. Went to a wedding and the DJ played “Thank You Next” by Ariana Grande as one of the first songs of the evening. If you aren’t familiar, it’s a song talking about exes and past relationships. Not the best way to celebrate a new couple imo.”

aimlessly_scrolling

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10. “Just stop weddings, period. It’s so overrated and weird to throw a party for 200+ people just to be left with a $50,000 bill. And a lot of the time it’s just to show off or outdo others as to who can have the most or best extravagant wedding. Weird.”

house-of-MoMo

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11. “Posting photos of the bride or groom on social media before the married couple gets the chance to do it themselves.”

Routine-General3841

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12. “In my country the bride has to change the dress several times wearing different ones every 1h which leads to exhausting her because our traditional wedding dresses are very heavy, especially with the accessories. I hope they only stick to one only.”

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13. “Stop: Judging the choices of the people throwing the party. Start: Remember that your attendance is a choice.”

entropy1776

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14. “Start giving out plants as party favors, we all love plants, you can get a bunch of cacti or the lucky bamboo thing and people can take them home.”

onlytexts

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15. “I feel the whole idea of dieting/starving / losing weight before the wedding to fit in the dress very…toxic. It’s your day! You should be able to flaunt your pasta-loving, exercise-avoiding body and be proud of it. Because this is who you are!”

Dee-tective

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16. “START enjoying it and thinking of it as a fun once-in-a-lifetime event instead of an Instagram photo shoot… STOP getting married just for the status.”

Retta_Noona

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Read more: 12 Women Share Things That Scare Them The Most About Marriage.