Gujarat seems like a nice place. Our mums would love it. You can’t eat meat, not really, no booze either. Every day is basically a Tuesday. And Gujrati food is so good! Except, Gujaratis have developed this weird hobby of combining different food items that keep on going viral. 


See, normally that’s great. It’s how all great dishes evolve. Different people from different cultures add their own twists to it. It’s why Kolkata Biryani has aloo and Lucknow Biryani is spicier and they are bot great. 

You know what isn’t great? This: 

Just because both paan and brownies are eaten after a good meal, doesn’t mean you eat them together! And why are they being fried? Do you guys not have a single gym in the state? 

Don’t deep fry Oreos. They are biscuits with chocolate and cream. It’s sweet but it’s not a Jalebi, it doesn’t need to be fried. And definitely not into pakodas!

A chocolate frankie is apparently a very popular dish. Why? 

Mango Ice Cream Chaat with Cheese! Not gonna lie, Mango Ice Cream sounds nice. Cheese, maybe we can get behind. But why would you add chaat to a dessert?

And of course, then there is the Fanta Omelette! At some point, you just have to stop yourself and ask, should we? 

What does even an ice-cream Vada Pav even mean? How complicated are your taste buds? 

You do realise that you an drink the cola separately when you have a plate of egg fried rice. You don’t have to mix that crap. 

A Samosa Pav sounds amazing. Now ruining it with chocolate, that’s very Gujarat of you!

See, I am not a purist when it comes to food. I love street food like everybody else. But all this is not really food, it’s a gimmick and it sucks. Food doesn’t need to be complicated. It just needs to taste good. 

And no matter what you say, cola with fried rice will only be fine when it comes out the other end of a human being. I’ll leave you with a Jeff Goldblum quote from the 1994 Oscar-winning film, Jurassic Park.