Shark Tank India‘s products have become extremely popular now. Thanks to the show, I have been wondering about the kind of much-needed products that should be pitched for women. So, I decided to make a list of them. Shark Tank, are you listening?
1. Attachable pockets for dresses that still don’t have them.
What is it with the majority of women’s dresses having pseudo or no pockets? It’s high time we get the pockets we deserve.
2. Device to instantly stop periods because most companies don’t know menstrual leaves exist.
Every time I get period cramps, I get the urge to take my uterus out and throw it in the dustbin. Why is it hard to understand that periods are horribly painful? If someone had a foot fracture, would you ask them to walk to the office?
3. An app that generates a new response every time relatives ask things like “Beta shaadi kab kar rahe ho?” and “Good news de do jaldi?“
Most of us don’t have the bandwidth to deal with these questions anymore. This is just what we need to shut up nosy people who want to know about your kids, partners and everything in between.
4. A contraceptive that stops pregnancy- not fun. Because, mood swings, acne are NOT fun.
The things that we have to endure to not get pregnant, is mind baffling. It’s like choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. And no matter what you choose, the side effects don’t stop. If we get this product, it will be a miracle for the ladies.
5. Special goggles for people who cannot deal with “revealing clothes”.
These goggles will help you escape people who wear “revealing clothes” because you can’t bother being educated, aware, or even a decent human being, right? Because your issues are not our problem, and we can, and we should wear whatever we want.
6. An app that automatically calculates the balance amount, every time male employees get paid more for the same job.
It’s the year 2022, we still need this calculator so that we’re not exploited. This clearly tells us about the blatant sexism in the companies that don’t believe in equal pay. Are you kidding me?
7. A buzzer that pings when men are about to mansplain. Because apparently, that still needs to be explained.
Trust the audacity of men to explain to women as if we live under a rock and then behave as if they didn’t know they mansplained. To help you and save women’s energy, this device will automatically buzz and let you know, when to shut up.
8. A “shade card” to detect your levels of racism, colourism, casteism, and sexism.
This is a sort of litmus test to tell us how trashy is a person and save the hassle of interacting with them. Just the thing I need in life.
9. Glasses that highlight the red flags I keep missing.
Like night goggles to help you see in the dark, this will help you to see through all the bullcrap and red flags in life and preserve your mental health. Gaslighting, manipulation, inconsistency, you name it, it can catch them all.
10. An armband that gives me the same level of happiness as unhooking a bra after a long day of work. Instant serotonin!
Nothing gives me as much comfort as taking off my bra after a long day. Okay, apart from smashing the patriarchy. This will give me the same amount of pleasure with no pain that the bra gives.
11. Hair ties that I can actually find when I need them.
Losing hair ties is a universal problem that needs a solid solution and this is it. Now I don’t need to buy 20 rubberbands, because I would actually have one when I need it.
12. Pimple detector to figure out if my pimples are because of my eating habits, my periods, my sleep schedule, or something else entirely.
Those random pimples that pop put right when I am about to step out are the absolute worst. Most times, I have no idea why. Hopefully, this is going to help us keep our skin together while smashing the patriarchy.
I am going to manifest these products into existence, one day.