Sex is fun and everything, but after a while it’s nice to change things up. To that end, Vātsyāyana decided to help us all out by listing out a whole lot of different positions in the book that led to millions of babies and backaches, the Kama Sutra.
Check out some of the craziest positions in the book that are almost too good to be true. Some might even be illegal!
1. The Turning Position
I like to call this the spinerooni, à la Booker T. The man spins his entire body around while inside the woman. Sounds… fun?
2. The Suspended Congress
When the man carries the woman with his back against a wall, it’s called the suspended congress. Thing is, most of us aren’t Hulk Hogan circa 1987.
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3. The Ape
The man lies down with his knees touching his chest while the woman balances herself on his butt while facing the other way. It sounds more like the Rock-a-bye Baby music video, so I guess it makes sense.
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4. The Landslide
The woman lies on her belly and the man kind of perches on her butt and does things. I’d say don’t try this at home but where else WOULD you try it right?
5. The Balancing Act
The dude lies on his back while the woman balances on him. Kind of like making love to a giant cupcake, but without the chocolate chips.
6. The Crisscross
This one’s fun cos if you’re having an orgy, you can literally play knots and crosses with this position. Mazza aa jayega.
7. The Fold
If you grew up trying to touch your hands to your toes and failing, then don’t try this. A good position to see how much a ligament tear actually hurts.
8. The G-Force
I just put this one on the list for it’s name. It’s not too hard, though the woman may hurt her neck( and her pride). Wait, forget what I just said, it IS pretty hard.
9. The Lustful Leg
Both partners stand facing each other and the woman rests her leg on his shoulder. Yo, if your girl is that flexible, chances are she’s not gonna be hanging around with a guy like you for too long. Truth.
10. The Plough
The woman rests her upper body on the bed while the rest of her is carried by the man. Slightly scared of women who can do this because with that kind of upper body strength they can probably knock you the $%#@ out with a single backhand.
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11. The Propeller
The woman lies on her back while the guy faces her legs and does his thing. Guaranteed to make you both feel… kinda ok. I don’t understand the dynamics of this position but then physics was never my strong point.
12. The Seduction
This position is perfect if you’re a dude who’s into like… people without legs or something. The woman tucks her feet under her bottom while the dude’s on top. Just to change things up I guess!?
13. The Triumph Arc
Another one where the woman puts her feet under her bottom. Looks fun and all but it really makes you wonder what Vatsyayana was smoking and how much free time he had. Anyway, we all thank him!
14. The Y Curve
The female lies with her tummy on the bed and her head on the floor while the guy is on top of her, forming a Y. Other names for this include the ‘fork’, the ‘radar’ and the ‘spinal dislocation’ position.
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15. The Dolphin
The woman lies on her back and raises her hips to the man. I always imagined dolphins doing it differently… not that I think about that often, but like, hypothetically you know?
Art by Arya Sharma