Sex talk in India is like He Who Must Not be Named in Harry Potter. So your overblown idea of first time sex is sourced from movies, porn and an hour of phone call with your bestfriend.
They say you never forget your firsts. Be it your first kiss or first sex. And the latter is comes with a lot of pressure to perform and please, confusing many first timers. We have tried to pull the curtain off the conversation and have talked about the 10 things you should know before your sexual debut!
1. Know what will lead to your own pleasure. Basically, masturbate.
Take time to explore your own body and find out where and how you want to be touched. Masturbation will help you figure out what will turn you on instantly when you’re with your partner in bed.
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2. Take it slow.
Remember sex is an experience, not an achievement. So why would you rush? The slower you take it, the greater will be the arousal. As a result, better sex will await you.
3. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! Did I forget to mention foreplay?
Sex without foreplay is akin to jumping on to the main course before starters. Foreplay will ensure the guys an erection and the vagina-havers will get wet which is a quintessential to spice things up before intercourse. It might involve intense make out, cuddling (naked or clothed), watching or listening to porn together, dry humping, so on and so forth.
4. Keep checking while you’re at it.
Sex is more than the moans and grunts of ecstasy they show in films. While doing things, keep checking with your partner – Are you good? Do you feel comfortable? Should I keep going? These small talks are downright sexy.
5. Lube needs to be your bestie.
A little lube can make sliding in and out wetter, slicker and sexier. Lube will minimise friction that causes discomfort, whether you’re merely fingering or penetrating. Choose a water or silicone-based lubricant and kindly ditch Vaseline or any oil-based lube, that damages condoms.
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6. Will it hurt, though?
Many believe that the first time can give you dard, and the rest will offer you haseen dard. Perhaps, you should know that sex can be uncomfortable or awkward but it should not really be painful. First penetrative sex shouldn’t feel like ‘hitting a brick wall.’ Lube is an ultimate must-have. Consider talking to your partner if you’re concerned about the pain.
7. Contraceptives can’t be overlooked.
Worrying about STIs and pregnancy during sex can turn you off. Even if you’re on another kind of birth control, use a condom to protect yourself from STIs. For oral sex, use a dental dam.
8. But what about the orgasm?
It’s normal that you won’t be ‘good’ in bed the first time, but it’s the intimacy with your partner that matters. Please don’t go out of your way to have an orgasm! Don’t be upset if you don’t achieve it. Or you could be God’s favourite child if your sex ends with an orgasm!
9. You may or may not bleed.
It’s an outright myth that every vagina bleeds in the first intercourse. Many don’t bleed the first time since the hymen could be stretched during any non-sexual activities as well. That being said, bleeding can occur any time, even during intense fingering —not just after the first time.
10. Your formula is P3. Pee Post Penetration.
Penetrative sex can cause UTI in people who had their sexual debut. Peeing within an hour or two of intercourse cleans out the urethra, whether you use fingers, toys, or a penis for penetration.
11. Don’t hesitate to give or take feedback.
You just had sex. The only thing that can help you enhance your performance the next time is an honest feedback. It doesn’t need to be criticism always. Talk about what you enjoyed, what you didn’t and what you’d like to try the next time.