A major part of our understanding of intercultural weddings between north Indians and south Indians comes from Bollywood movies like 2 States, Chennai Express, etc. The experiences go beyond that. From dating and convincing parents to getting married and keeping up with the vastly different set of traditions and cultures, people who’ve been there share their experiences.

1. “My roots are from Kerala and my wife’s roots are from Jammu (Rajput). Five years into the relationship, she accepted and understood some Malayali traditions. From eating food made in coconut oil to applying chandan etc., these small gestures increased respect of our whole family towards her. Meanwhile I also learned a few customs from their culture. Our wedding happened in Mumbai so it was more malllu people and less of my wives’ relatives. But as per request it was mix of both styles saath phera and normal thaali kettu.” – Quora


2. “I’m a Tamil woman married to a North Indian. I adore him as he tries speaking Tamil to interact better with my family, he gets excited about the South Indian dishes I cook, watches Tamil movies with me, listens to Tamil music, appreciates it and all this without me asking.” – Quora


3. “We are from Delhi. My sister got married to a guy from Tamil Nadu. They met in college, and the fact that they were from opposite ends of the country was never a hindrance. That is not to say that cultural differences do not exist between North and South Indians; they do, but the functioning of their relationship is irrelevant of the states they belong to. It’s all about the chemistry, and that is the way it should be.” – Quora


4. “I’m a South Indian who married a North Indian girl. Convincing your parents and getting married now is only a small part of the big picture. Sustaining the marriage and leading a happy life is the big challenge. There will be challenges because of the vast cultural differences, the language barrier, family customs and even minor things like food preferences. You may need to make lots of compromises.” – Quora


5. “Gautham and I met on a dating app, and the rest is history, we were smitten in love for the next two years until the day he finally popped the question. We never faced any such friction or too many intercultural marriage challenges. As decided by our families, our engagement was a South Indian celebration – a very traditional one and our wedding day was a North Indian celebration because TBH nobody wanted to wake up at 6 am in the morning for a South Indian wedding.” – Anshita


6. “The language and other cultural traditions are significantly different. While the wedding was a mix of Tamil and Marwari traditions, six months into it, and I still feel nervous about interacting with his extended family in Tamil.” – Anonymous

Wedding Wire

7. “My husband Rishi and I met in engineering college in 1998. We initially hated each other and eventually fell in love after a few years! I am a hard core south Indian girl, who loves idli and rice, and Rishi loves roti and aloo! His parents had a pre-conceived notion about South Indians that they had weird accent and were dark-skinned! Much to her surprise, I did not look a bit like the south Indian that she imagined. We are from two different states, but follow the single language of love. We have a rich cultural diversity at home and I celebrate karwa chauth and Ganesha festival with equal fervour! We now have two boys who are a delightful mix of north and south!” – Siri Manjunath

8. “Although we are both Hindu Brahmins, our parents refused to bless our marriage. Our families disowned us. We left our parents’ home on the day of our wedding. And after that the hardships started. Both of us faced them with determination. It took us a few years to settle down. Eventually both the sides came around and accepted us.” – Mukesh Nautiyal


9.”North Indian Rajput married to South Indian Brahmin. I now prefer veg food, and she now loves mutton Biryani.” – Reddit


10. “My mother tongue is Tamil. My husband is Marathi. I was born in a TamBrahm family. He is a brahma kshatriya who eats non-veg. I knew my mother would not approve. Somehow we managed to get married. He is learning Tamil, while I am picking up Marathi. It sure is funny to hear a Marathi guy say ‘Kaka Thukittu Pochu’ (Crow took it and flew away). And he finds it hilarious when I say ‘Majhi Satak Li’. Well, life is going good. All this was possible because I took the leap and confronted my mom. And because of my supportive brother. It is tough to admit. But once you do it, there is no going back.” – Quora


11.”I’m a South Indian. Husband is from Rajasthan. We met on shaadi.com. He had state/caste no bar as his criteria. We are very happy. I don’t like Rajasthani dressing for females which I have to adopt now. He doesn’t like use of curry leaves in all dishes, which I do.” – Quora


Do you have more such experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.