Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, they say. Well, you wanna know what else lies in the eye of the beholder? Filth. Because everything is a dirty joke if you’re brave enough. And if the mind so chooses, even the most innocent of questions will bring out your naughty side. With that in mind, we’ve brought you a list of dirty riddles with answers from all over the internet. And something tells me your filthy minds will not get many of these rights. So gather your friends around or our partner and see who has the dirtiest sense of them all.
Let the fun begin with our list of funny dirty riddles!
Q1. What’s a thing that you can find in a man’s pants but not in a woman’s?
Q2. What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?
Q3. What is hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? It starts with the letter ‘C’ and ends with ‘T’.
Q4. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Donald Trump has a small one. And Madonna doesn’t have one at all. What is it?
A. Last Name
Q5. I go in hard but come out soft, and I never mind if you want to blow me. What am I?
A. Chewing Gum
Q6. What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates.
A. An electric toothbrush
Q7. What goes up, lets out load, and then goes back?
A. An Elevator
Q.8. What gets longer if pulled, fits snuggly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works really well when jerked?
A. A Seatbelt
Q9. When I Go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask you to spit and not swallow. What am I?
A. A dentist
Q10. What’s long and hard and has a cum in it?
A. A cucumber
Also Read: Indian Parents Riddles
Q 11. What does every woman have that starts with ‘V’ and that she can use to get whatever she wants?
Q12. A cow has four of them but a woman has just two. What is it?
Q13. It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?
Q14. Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?
A. A Nose
Q15. I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
A. An arrow
Q16. Over 1000 people went down on me. I wasn’t a maiden for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?
A. The Titanic
Q17. What is more rewarding when it’s long and hard?
A. A college education
Q18. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being at the bottom. And it always involves a bed.
A. A bunk bed
Q19. You get a lot of it if you’re important and successful. You get less when you are starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself if you want to but it’s a lot better when it’s with other people.
Q20. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I am called a big swinger. What am I?
A. A crane
Check Out – Best Pickup Lines In Hindi
Also Read: Naughty Games for Bachelors
Q21. What is something that people keep in their trousers that their partners sometimes love to blow?
Q22. Doesn’t matter what room we are in, you can always spread me. What am I?
Q23. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Q24. It starts with the letter “P” and ends with “O.R.N”. I play a major role in the film industry. What am I?
Q25. What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?
A. An education.
Q26. I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. What am I?
Q27. I prevent any mistakes and I’m made out of rubber. What am I?
Q28. Most people and their partners put their figure inside me when they are on their first date. What am I?
A. Bowling Ball
Q29. What can’t be tasted unless it is undressed?
A. A banana
Q30. What is super hard, comes in different sizes, and can go into tiny holes?
A. A key
Check Out – Best This or That Questions For Adults
Q31. I work with briefs and I’m amazing when using my mouth. What am I?
A. A Lawyer
Q32. What is the thing that if you are unable to get, you could always just use your hands instead to get the job done?
A. A spoon
Q33. What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want on her face?
Q34. I come from nuts, can be very sticky, and tastes amazing in your mouth. What am I?
A. Peanut Butter
Q35. What begins with “P”, responds to stimulation by getting bigger, and generally is the biggest at night in the dark?
A. Pupils of eyes
Q36. What is the thing that is worn for protection, use your hands to get it off, and you can find it hard to feel properly when this is being worn?
Q37. What is the thing you set on vibration when you want some time alone?
A. A phone
Also Read: Texting Games To Play
Q38. I’m the most fun when you put me in small holes and wiggle me around. What am I?
A. A Q-tip
Q39. It’s hard when it goes in but comes out wet, soft, and sometimes soggy.
Q40. People use me to hold their buns, and I can leave a red mark if I have you too tight on your skin. What am I?
A. A hair tie
Q41. You have to blow me to play and have more fun. What am I?
Q42. People use their hands to go up and down me, I’m very long and very hard. What am I?
Q43. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. What am I?
A. A Fireplace
Q44. What’s beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
Q45. Women can’t get enough of me, and I rhyme with “sock”. What am I?
Q46. What’s long and hard when it’s young and soft and small when it’s old?
Q47. What is the difference between a woman’s G-spot and a quarter?
A. That men can actually find a quarter
Q48. I am long, you move me around with your lips and tongue, I get wet with saliva and I get sucked. What am I?
A. A straw
Q49. What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a “P” and women absolutely love to get their hands on it?
Q50. What do an eggplant, a penis, a celery, and a cucumber have in common?
A. They all have the letter ‘E’.
Also Read: Watch 27 Seductive Erotic Movies
Q51. What is the thing that starts with an “F” and ends in “C-K” and when things get really hot, it is exactly what you want?
Q52. It can get dirty, it can be cleaned. It can be delicate, it can be rough. People sometimes shake it or smack it against its own kind. What am I?
Q53. You’ll find me on a peak, I am sometimes small and sometimes big, sometimes pointy. What am I?
A. A nipple
Q54. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
A. A wedding ring
Q55. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
A. A tent
Q.56 People come to visit me but usually don’t stay for very long. I can be clean but am more often than not very dirty. People usually reveal to me a part of themselves that they rarely show others. What am I?
Q57. What’s a four-letter word that’s generally used for women?
Q58. People love being inside me, and my shaft goes up and down every day. What am I?
A. An elevator.
Q59. What’s a 4 letter word that some women love having inside them?
Also Read: Best Fun Drinking Games
Q60. What’s the best part of your body to put into a pie?
A. Your teeth
Q61. What makes men’s voices louder than women’s?
A. Their antenna
Q62. Most people love having me in their mouth first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and I’ll leave you feeling refreshed. What am I?
A. A toothbrush
Q63. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and everyone goes crazy over?
A. A Rs.100 note
Q64. What is six inches long, sweet on the lips, and goes down better with butter?
A. Corn on the cob.
Q65. Cut me regularly or, if you want to be selfish, get someone to do it for you before it gets prickly. What am I?
A. The lawn
Q66. I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?A. A strawberry
Q67. What is something that people call a hump, and women have me when their pants are too tight?
A. A cameltoe
Q68. What’s one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body?
A. His ears.
Q69. I am white when I am dirty, and black when I am clean.
Q70. What are the two most important holes in a woman?
Also Read: Adults Destinations Around The World
Q71. What starts with ‘d’ and ends with ‘ick’?
Q72. What three-letter word starts with an “s,” and ends with an “x”?
Q73. I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
A. A crane.
Q74. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it.
Q75. What’s soft and instantly melts in your mouth but feels sticky when it drips on your hand?
Q76. What gets wetter when things get steamy?
Q77. If I miss, I hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news. What am I?
A. A newspaper delivery person.
Q78. What’s the difference between amazing sex and this joke?
A. You’ll actually get the joke.
Q77. Shaped like a stick, I am long and hard. I also have a head and a shaft. What am I?
A. A cane.
Q78. I’m short afterward, but long before being used. I’m always light, and I end in “ICK” What am I?
Q79. An expensive piece of tail, I come with a large “pair.” What am I?
A. A lobster.
Q80. Why is a happy sex life like a good steak?
A. It’s rare.
Q81. What is more rewarding when it is hard and long?
Answer: A College.
Q82. Why is sex like a good steak?
A. It takes hours of work just to be told ‘well done’.
Q83. You can give it a soft blow, but other times it needs a stronger blow in order to get all the stuff to come out. What is it?
A. A Nose
Q84. What do newly married women get on their wedding day that’s long and sometimes hard?
A. A new last name.
Q85. What can turn an “oooh” into an “Aaah”?
A. About three inches
Q86. What’s the speed limit of sex?
A. It’s 68, but at 69 you have to turn around.
Q87. I am sometimes long and sometimes short. I am usually warm. What am I?
Q88. What goes up and never comes down?
A. Your age
Q89. How do you punish a naughty eyeball?
A. Give it fifty lashes
Q90. Which animal has the largest breasts?
A. The Zebra
Q91. A boy had sex using protection. A few weeks later, his girlfriend called and said she was pregnant. Her heart was broken. Nine months later, her water broke. What broke first?
A. The condom
Q92. Why do women make better police officers than men?
A. They can bleed for a week and still not die.
Q93. What is the difference between what’s inside a man’s pants and what’s inside a woman’s pants?
A. The tag and how sizes are measured
Q94. How is a virgin forest like a virgin woman?
A. They are both bushy
Q95. I come with a great pair and people love to eat me. What am I?
A. A lobster.
Q96. What does a dog do that is also a big part of a man’s life?
Q97. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste
Q98. What’s hard from the outside, has a white filling, and tastes good in your mouth?
A. A cream roll
Q99. What’s a thing that people press when they go up and down while riding?
A. Buttons in an elevator
Q100. While doing it, you need to take control of it to enjoy it. It can also leave you feeling sore once you are finished.
A. Horse Riding
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. How do I ensure the dirty riddles I share are appropriate for the audience?
Ans. it is important to understand the preferences, sensitivities, age, and maturity level of the people you’re sharing the riddles with. Different people and groups have different levels of tolerance so be aware of that. Then start off by choosing non-offensive riddles that don’t contain explicit or very sexual content.
2. What are some websites or sources for dirty riddles and their answers?
3. Can you provide some adult-oriented riddles with solutions for parties?
Ans. Here are some adult-oriented riddles for parties
1. A boy had sex using protection. A few weeks later, his girlfriend called and said she was pregnant. Her heart was broken. Nine months later, her water broke. What broke first? – The condom
2. Why is sex like a good steak? – It takes hours of work just to be told ‘well done’.
3. What’s the difference between amazing sex, and this joke? – You’ll get this joke
4. You can give it a soft blow, but other times it needs a stronger blow in order to get all the stuff to come out. What is it? – A Nose
5. What three-letter word starts with an “s,” and ends with an “x”? – Six
6. What do newly married women get on their wedding day that’s long and sometimes hard? – A new last name.
4. What are some popular dirty riddles used in icebreaker games for adults?
Ans. Here are some popular dirty riddles-
1. People use their hands to go up and down me, I’m very long and very hard. What am I? – Railing
2. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. What am I? – Fireplace
3. What’s beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly? – Grass
4. Women can’t get enough of me, and I rhyme with “sock”. What am I? – Talk
5. What’s long and hard when it’s young and soft and small when it’s old? – Candle
5. How can I make sure the dirty riddles I use are in good taste and not offensive?
Ans. First, understand your audience. Know what their preferences are and their maturity level. Then be mindful of the setting and people around you. The dirty riddle that you share with your close friends might come across as offensive to your work colleagues. Even if you feel like you can share the riddle, make sure to warn them beforehand about the content of your dirty riddle.
Profess your love for all things ‘dirty’ with this fabulous mat!
Buy it here.
For more such quirky stuff, check out ScoopWhoop Shop.